Thursday, October 22, 2009

Well done!

I'm so happy to read at least one person isn't being a media whore and trying to make a buck off of this "Balloon boy" fiasco. Sheriff Jim Alderden has turned down interviews and an appearance on "Dr. Phil". Good on ya mate! No need to get greedy like the rest just for the sake of some TV time. God knows you've had a enough with the media following you around like you were some extraterrestrial who just came to earth. It's nice to hear of an actual decent person who just wants to be and doesn't want the 15 minutes of fame. I understand as well he recieved threatening emails and messages to which he scoffed at and joked about on his blog. Thumbs up to you sir and you have my respect. Keep on keepin' on my friend.

By the way, why are they still calling Falcon, "balloon boy"? He wasn't in the balloon. I know the original story was that he was but he wasn't. How about we give the poor innocent kid a break and just call him by his name?

Be green. Cut back on farting.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Grumpy old man

I'm in a pissy mood and I'm going to share my thoughts tonight.
I feel like pouring everything out about shit going on and don't care who I piss off in saying it. One thing on my mind is why in the fuck do I have to be overly sensitive about scents in a work place? Can you remember a day when we were kids and no one at school had severe allergies to the point that it threatened their life??? I mean shit, peanut butter now can kill someone if they just get a whiff of it? What the fuck? Is there a breakdown in evolution with our DNA or something or is it just the person themselves that was just born with parents who were first cousins or something? Did you know at work, I can't even use a fucking air can to clean out my keyboard? People actually complained that it affects their health and shit. Jesus. We're becoming a race of whimps from being coddled too much by mommy. Most of these people are the ones that kept to themselves in school probably because they were told if they hung out with the "bad kids" that it would make Jesus cry. I mean, give me a break. There isn't even any common ground that can be reached. We all have to tip toe around these people and not breathe so they won't whine about the smell of our breath or something. I say get these people a special section in a bubble so the rest of us can go on living normal lives. Oh and my keyboard at work looks like something you'd find in an alley way under a pile of garbage, it's so filthy. I was told I could take it outside and use my can of air duster out there but I'm sure some fuck would cry to a supervisor about the smell lingering around outside. Shit.
And what about people who have to one up you every time when you are telling a story? "Yeah, so we went hiking at Fundy this weekend and..." "I remember climbing Mt. Fuji once, that was awesome". I just hate that they interrupt your story to out do you. It's like a big "fuck you" and an effort to belittle you infront of everyone. Why? Are they that fucking insecure that they have to shut you up, interrupt and try to prove how much better they are? It's the equivalent to that middle aged guy who needs a big sports car to compensate for having a small dick. I fucking hate it. At the most, wait your turn and tell your "better" story, ya fucking lush.
Here's another topic. Me telling people that I've changed some things in my life to better myself and every time they bring up the topic and I try to explain the reasons why I've changed some things, they turn on me to tell me I'm annoying them with talking about it. Hello? You dumb fuck, you brought it up so I'll respond with my reasonings whether you fucking like it or not. If you don't like it, shut your fucking trap in the first place. Example: Once I gave up drinking for 6 months to feel better and lose some weight and people asked me to have a beer here and there and I'd simply say I gave it up and they fucking start tearing into me like I'm some alien with 4 eyes. Or recently with my bp issue, I cut back on sodium big time and I'm asked why I don't eat the foods I used to and I tell them due my bp and the sodium content and they actually fucking tell me I'm annoying them with the sodium topic. Don't fucking ask if you don't want to hear me tell you why. You know why from asking me 10 times before so shut it.
Here's some other things that piss me off.
Jay Leno. You aren't funny.
The Heene family - you're all fucked up.
People that snoop around my desk and go through my shit. Fuck off. I didn't invite you to take my shit or go through it.
People that go around telling everyone they are Christian and want you to know it but are the ones that are quick to judge, talk about you behind your back and not treat you like people should be treated. Suck it.
Techno music. Die.
Reality TV. Go to Hell.
Gossipers. You got me in to your circle and I'm out now. Go whine or talk about someone elsewhere.

Hey. I feel better now. Night night.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

You're full of hot air

Nothing pleases more than to see an innocent little kid call his parents out when they are lying about something and the added bonus is that this particular incident happened on live television. I'm talking about the hot air balloon kid that was supposedly in that silver weather balloon or whatever the hell it was, that got loose and went on a wild ride. People were frantically chasing the balloon and all chaos broke loose to save said child that was in this tiny UFO looking balloon. I saw the clip yesterday where the family was doing one of their many TV interviews about the whole dramatic story and if you haven't heard about it, the boy was not in the balloon when it landed, he was hiding in the attic at the house. BUT the best thing ever was the little boy calling out his parents by being nothing more than an innocent little guy in answering why this took place and he responded by saying something to the affect of "My parents told me to hide in the attic, it was for TV". I for one, fucking loved it. The look on his Dad's face was truly classic. Nothing better than seeing the immediate reaction of someone when the truth comes out. Daddy got what he deserved. I can't believe parents will do just about anything these days to get famous via their kids and subject them to such bullshit.
I think the Dad in this particular situation should have his ass kicked. I mean geezus buddy, you make your kid lie about what happened? That would warp a kids mind to what is right and what is wrong. "Now son, we're just pretending and it's not a lie, it's the stretched version of the truth and that's okay". Fucking idiot. And to find out the parents were trying to pitch a reality show to all the networks before this happened which means this was their attempt at becoming famous and starting a reality show with some network? I hope that all the networks tell them to lick balls before they even think of the idea. I saw three kids sitting with them during the interviews so what kind of reality show was it going to be?? Jack and Natalie plus three? Cripes. Everyone is out to be famous these days.
I think I'll try to get my own reality show. I'll call it Darren and no one makes nothing. It'll be my real life version of someone's every day life and happenings. It'll probably be boring as all Hell but at least it'll be more entertaining than half the reality shows on TV now.

All aboard the fame train!! Woot! Woot!


Friday, October 9, 2009

Turkey time

How is everyone out there? It's that time of year again kids. Time for the turkey, gravy and all the fixin's that go with it. We get to sit back, relax and reflect on what we are thankful for and I encourage you all to either respond with what you are thankful for either on here or facecrack. It would please me to no end to hear from you all. So, in celebration of this coming weekend and holiday we get to enjoy before the Americans, na na na na na na na na, I am going to list off what I am thankful for. Ready? (In no particular order)
I am thankful for:
Life, being Canadian, TV, movies, friends(wherever they are.LOL), family, Benny Hill shows, cake, porn, the sun, Ava, my house, pizza, the invention of velcro, Tera Patrick, foo fighters, the police(the band), women, biking, sight, sex, midgets, freedom, George Lucas, muffins, my brain, my sense of humor, raisins, conspiracies, Carla Gugino, TMZ, space, bread, women that wear tall black boots, comedians, Jessica Biel finally deciding to do a nude scene(Powder blue), pinball machines, all video game consoles ever made, my job, comedy roasts, John Lovitz, flat panel TV's, Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi in her slave dress(every boys dream back then), Girls gone wild videos, Kelly Brook, my chair, the thought of time travel being possible, SUV's, milk, hookers, football, one night stands, the autobahn, Japan, maxim magazine, playboy, my toys, my patio, my hammock, scotiabank for not screwing up my loan payments since I started to move over to RBC, my fathers infamous sayings, books, you, a big afro, the invention of the razor, cell phones, the internet(PORN!!), comfy couches, money, Olivia Wilde, Jolene Blalock, mini wheats, foods low in sodium, trampolines, girls on trampolines, cars, Telly Savalas, old movies, def leppard, food, good people out in the world, planes, carnivals, badly made movies ("satan's schoolgirls", check it out), Brook Burke, Laura Frison, Vida Guerra, clowns, strip bars, popcorn, the fact we don't hear about George W. Bush anymore, Green products, hemp, soccer, boobs, health care, indian food, board games, taking trips, Danny Devito, England, bikini car washes, the rate technology is going(scares me sometimes, but all around okay), that painter dude that used to be on PBS, the invention of thongs, Heavy metal music, curtains, video cameras, Chuck Norris, water, beer, trees(without 'em, we'd probably be dead), bj's.........subs, yeah, video cameras, star trek film marathon on a crappy day, humane societies, Pat Sajak, Elvis, the radio, the original Daisy Duke, Skid Row(the band), junior high dances and being able to dance close and doing the butt grab, cheese, karaoke, marbles and prostate exams.



Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Where is your pride?

Hi there.
I'm a little worked up today about one topic I am serious about and will not joke about nor take for granted. Remembrance day. I have always gone to a ceremony to take the time out to respect the men and women of my country who put their lives on the line to help in the fight to preserve and maintain our freedom. Many of you may have thoughts on this or comments and I welcome them be it on here or my fb page. I want to hear from as many of you as possible about this and what you feel about this one day out of the year we should have the freedom to go to a ceremony, watch it on TV or just do nothing at all in favor and respect of the fact we are free. My work has brought it upon themselves to have some of us, as many as they "forecast" are needed, to come in to work that day. Now, in the history of working, I can't recall at any time I've had to come in to work on Remembrance day because the places I've worked don't need us on that day and they respect that day for what it is. A holiday. A holiday to have off and pay respect and show that we care about what happened and why we're here today. Granted, I've been here for well over 7 years now and haven't had to work a Remembrance day until now. So why now? Is the company hurting? Do they "forecast" a huge loss if we are closed? Smaller companies will be closed that day and huge companies will be closed that day so why? Because our comepetitors are reported to be open that day? I recall an old saying my mother used to say all the time and I feel it fits here, "If they jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?" It's a sorry excuse just to make more money if you ask me.
And ask me alone. These are strictly my views about what is being done to us on this holiday. Not anyone else's view at all.
So seriously, is the company going to fall if this day is missed making more money for them? Are they going to be on crutches sort to speak if we are closed. I highly doubt it. No company should be open and make their employees miss out on paying tribute to our country and the people that were lost or the people that are still with us to this day who go out in the cold and stand strong to remember what they did and for us to be there and show them we still remember and always will. Or will the corporate world be a huge part of phasing out this holiday once all are gone that were involved? It's a true shame to have to work on this day and I for one am not very happy that anyone should have to work it. Too bad the big wigs only see dollar signs and can't remember.......................


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Who farted?

As I sit here working as diligently as possible (yes, I said it. Scoff at me if you wish, but I'm working), I listen to music in one ear with my ear bud plugged in to my computer and take calls on the other ear with my ear piece and wonder; Can the caller hear my music going through my head to the other ear? But then I realize that it's impossible as the ear piece is where I hear the customer and my mic is not in line with my other ear so I can rest easy knowing the music just goes into my head to fill me with happy thoughts.

How's your day going? In respect of recent events of work that I'm supposed to forget and put behind me, which I have, I've started thinking, would it be worth just keeping myself happy by venturing into a world of illegal drugs and/or drinking excessively? I'm leaning towards yes. But then I think perhaps it will lead me down a path I won't be able to handle. I'll lose any friends I have, if I have any now, then my job and I'll most likely lose the house, the dog, the car and end up in a box behind Angie's in Dieppe. I'll make ends meet by working at said establishment working as the pole cleaner and mopping floors in the back room for a mere $5 an hr and be ridiculed by the staff and patrons whenever I work. I can hear it now, "Hey look, there's that dirty slob that lost his job and life because he started taking heroin and drinking JD like water and moved in to the box out back that we piss on when he's not there and we all think he's disgusting!" all the while I'll mope along weeping inside, holding the tears back while "Candi" is straddling a pole behind me and I'm waiting with a bottle of Zep and a towel to clean where her cooch rode the pole so the other girls don't catch something nasty when they grind their bajango against it just to get a rise out of the boys sitting at gyno row, thinking these women love them and the stripper is pawing the floor, riding the pole and spanking her ass in front of strangers, hoping to make good coin for the evening in return.
Sounds like a very depressing life, perhaps the route of illegal drugs and/or drinking should be just an idea and I'll keep on keeping on.
On the other hand, I'll have a place of my own with free rent, naked women in my back yard, good cheesy music playing and I get to clean stripper poles!! Man, what a toss up.

Love one another and love another one.