Monday, September 28, 2009

Time to ramble.

What a way to start the day today. Walking my dog and a tree branch about 7 feet long snaps out of a tree and smashes to the ground not 4 feet behind me where I was walking. That's about a 3 second time frame from where I was to where I ended up when it fell. Crazy. That small amount of time makes a huge difference especially in this circumstance. I stood there for about 30 seconds repeating the phrase "Holy shit" over and over as I stared at the size of branch and thinking how lucky I was not to end up underneath it. I kept seeing myself getting nailed on the head or in the back on the shoulders being knocked down by this branch. Then I thought, how serious could the injury have been? Probably enough to render me unconscious or even worse. Makes one think. Someone up there is watching me and to them I say thank you big time. Makes for an interesting Monday, that's for sure.

So I caved. I signed up for twitter and am liking it. I bashed that site so much when it came out, questioning why would I need a site that allows you to send a min-blog of your whereabouts 24/7? Now I'm doing it. Well not 24/7 but at least once or twice a day or so. It's amazing how drastically life has changed for us in the last 20 years. Just stop and think about it. You can send mail to a friend in the blink of an eye. You can know everyone's whereabouts with the internet or GPS. You can get porn on demand. You can get addresses and phone numbers or people's information if you know where to look on the net. You can download music, movies and television in a matter of minutes. There's no hiding anymore. Remember when you used to go outside and play ball hockey all afternoon or hang out at your local park with everyone and interacted in person? Remember playing marbles or board games with real live people? The human interaction is less and less these days and it seems we all are accustomed to more private lives and talking to one another via a computer or whatever gadget is out there that enables us to communicate without picking up a phone or leaving our living room. Have you noticed if you are on a chatline such as msn, you are somewhat of a different person behind a closed door and have the security of a computer to hide behind than you are in person. Most people are. If you aren't and disagree with that comment, good on ya for that. But most people design a different behavioral pattern when not talking face to face.

So now, I sit here at my desk, the ever so well behaved drone typing away to entertain myself and make the day pass, WHILE ON MY LUNCH, I must say that so the powers that be don't think I'm abusing the day with not doing my job. I sit here with many a thought flying through my head like: Is it proper if you really like someone that is engaged in a deep relationship to tell them you do? Can I make a difference while being on this blue planet or am I just another biological being just going through the hoops of life? What makes someone better than another person? Why do people not talk about sex, it's normal and everyone does it, right? Why do we live our lives according to what the overall consensus says we are supposed to? Is there a God or some sort of higher being out in the universe pulling the strings that we just slapped a name on to try and understand it?
The list goes on and maybe I'll talk more in detail about them as we go on.

Hey Jody, if you read this, my fan is available if you want it this week. France, my heart goes out to you. JB, thanks for reading and kicking my ass to send out another blog. To Sunflower, it's getting worse. Steve, thanks for dropping the pie. And to big dog out there, don't stress, it only leads to the darkside and possibly the end of the ride on this world.

Touch my bum,


Friday, September 18, 2009

Now with more fat!!

I trust everyone had a great week? Or do you feel like me and that this week felt like it lasted longer than a waterboarding session held by Dick Cheney? Man, this week was brutal time wise. I swear it dragged on and on. Just being at work for the day and noticing that it was only 3 hours in to my shift and it felt like I was here for 7 hours at that point, wanting to pull my hair out, throw the PC out a window and go to the bathroom, curl up in the corner of a stall and rock back and forth crying out "Why have you foresaken me Jebus!!?.........why????" All the while you take calls such as "If I have wireless internet at home, will it work for my laptop when I go to Alberta from home?" or "The bundle is $74 a month and it includes internet and a long distance plan for your home phone"...."Oh so what does that include?"...."Internet and a long distance plan"..."And how much is it?"..."$74 a month"..."And that includes long distance for my internet?"..."No, long distance on your home phone and internet in a bundle"..."And how much is it?" Seriously folks, I can't make that shit up. That's a small handfull of the stuff I hear daily.

BUT, finally Friday is upon us, time to let the hair down, turn the music up and grab a beer! Or in my case, red wine thanks to my newly found blood pressure issue. Yay for me!!

On to other topics now. I'd first like to thank those of you who have sent me facecrack messages letting me know you are reading and do enjoy my blogs for the most part. I know they aren't pulitzer prize winning stories but I do what I can.

Registration renewal. What brainiac came up with the idea that we now have to keep track of when our registration is due and we don't recieve the kind notice in the mail reminding us? Aren't we busy as it is with things going on in our lives? Don't we pay enough to the government now that they can provide us with the service of reminding us as we buzz along in this fast paced world we live in now? I love how the "higher ups" keep coming up with ways to figure out how to make their time and lives more easy all the while getting paid more each year and giving us all the stuff to do and take care of. Seriously, we pay taxes, we pay fees for all public services, why can't you be willing enough to take some iniative and do some shit yourself since we pay you a ton of what we earn already? What's next? I have to pay a fee to use a public washroom or have to remember when my income tax is due? "Sorry folks, due to costs and ongoing increases of our work ethics in which we provide to you, the taxpayer, we will now stop sending you information on when your income tax is due as well you will have to remind us, the government on when to send you your T4's and so on"

Getting things for free. Where in ones right mind is it okay to complain about getting something for free?? This topic popped in my head when someone I know actually whined about getting food for free and it wasn't from one of the self-approved places they like. WTF?? It's free. Stop acting like someone just told you to give your spleen or kidneys away. If you don't like it, fuck off and buy your own food. I don't know how much more I can say about that one. Bottom line be it food or whatever the case, you're given something for free, take it. If you don't like it, give it away or don't have it, whatever. Fools.

The saying "I'm dying". Okay, when one is really tired, sick or has worked out really hard, don't use the term "I'm dying". How do you know?? Really. Have you died before and come back from the dead? "Hey Jerry, I hear you have the flu, how are you feeling?" "Oh cripes, I am dying here, it's that bad" "Oh yeah?.......well you would know, I remember when you died in 2005 and came back to the living not long after, so you would know". And what happens the day you are actually dying and say it? Remember, don't cry wolf.

Well I've ranted enough today so I hope you liked the post. Cheers to Kristy for the registration topic and to everyone else!

Your friend with benefits..........


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Which way is up?

Wow. What a week so far in the entertainment industry, hey?

What is the deal with Kanye West and being such a bastard and interrupting a poor 19 year old girl's moment in the spotlight? Mr. West, you have just stepped up to being the A-1 classic douchebag of all time. Congrats. Now look, I'm not a Taylor Swift fan but to me, bum rushing the stage at an awards show is just plain fucking rude and ignorant. The person won the award, leave it be and if you have any problems with it, save it to bitch to your friends. Now there's an article out about it being a publicity stunt? What the hell. It's all bullshit to me.

Oh, here's a short one for you. Lady Gaga is fucked in the head. Plain and simple.

On to Mr. Patrick Swayze. He's not on my list as my most favorite actors but he did star in some of my favorite films back in the day, "Red Dawn", "Point break" and "Youngblood". It's a shame he did go at such a young age. No one deserves to go like that but it's all a part of life and apparently nothing we can do about it. It can be prolonged in a long and hard battle but sometimes, in the end, it gets you. I'm sure many a Swayze fan will be in mourning today and will be home watching his movies curled up in a blanket with a bowl of popcorn or eating chocolate, crying but I will simply honor him and remember him for entertaining us with the many films he made and he'll always be "Bodhi" to me from "Point Break". Rest in peace Bodhi, thanks for sharing time with us.

Another day, another dollar. After taxes, about .42 cents.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Where is my head?

What a freaking day so far. It's one of the absolute last days of some nice weather before the latter part of fall hits and then you know what season is upon us. Shit. Time flies for sure and it seems like yesterday I was stuck on my couch with a thrown out back, whining and hoping I'd heal fast. That was June. Here we are in September and I must say, you know those "getting to know you" emails that friends send you and there is that question about your favorite season, I always say Summer but guess what my friends, get to know me all over again, I now prefer the fall. The weather is just right. Most days we are at 15-20 degrees celsius and at nights, 5-15 with a nice breeze. Thank you Jebus.
I wanted to do so much this summer: camping, biking, hiking and so on. But I guess due to my lack of staying healthy, my body had other plans for me. I think it got in a fight with my mind and it won. I feel like I'm falling apart and the mind over matter issue isn't doing so well. We'll see about that. This isn't over, body! I shall prevail!!
So today for the first time in almost two weeks, I think I've got the BP issue under control. Woke up with a slight headache but it went away fast and I've been feeling good all day. Hopefully I'll stay on track this time and treat my body right and my heart. It's scary all the shit you learn about when you take the time to read about it and it's too bad most of us only do it when something happens to us. We should be aware of everything going on as we age. But I guess not knowing is worse than knowing and learning all the things that can happen. I think I'd rather know. Yeah, I would.

Don't squeeze the charmin.........


Thursday, September 10, 2009

What gets my goat

Upon heading toward work this fine morning, I thought I'd blog about something everyone talks about on a regular basis. Plain and simple, things that piss us off.
1. Driving
Now, I know I'm not a super A-1 driver out on the road but I do my best to adhere to the rules of the road and know pretty much all the basic rules and then some, but when I see someone doing something stupid or just plain ignorant when driving, it really gets my goat. This morning I'm on my way to work and I'm heading on to Wheeler Blvd via one of the many marvelous on ramps or whatever they are called and I see a car coming up along side of me and no cars behind this vehicle nor any on the outside lane and this marvel of human stupidity stays in the lane and we are now side by side all the while I've had my signal on to move into the lane to get on to Wheeler. Jackass decides to stick with his route and not move for me so I speed up and get in front of him and he does this dramatic brake and avoid into the other lane and still no cars in his immediate area, as if I was the one causing the problem.
Is this not a basic known rule of highway driving? When you see a car coming from the merge lane to get on the highway, do you not move over to the outside lane if it's available? I mean, what the Hell? Is there a mental block in some people that prevents them from thinking correctly while driving? Situation: You see a car in the merge lane, nothing around you, move the fuck over Einstein.
2. Reality shows.
WTF? There's nothing real about them except for the fact they are happening with people in front of you on TV. I can't remember the last time I was stuck on an Island with 20 people and we had barely any means to live and each week voted someone off. In reality if you did that, where the fuck does that person go? Magically back to civilization or do they just up and vanish like a fart in the wind? Or what about being in a house of 15 people where they talk about each other, conspire to defeat each other and what's with the shit in the backyard where you play different crazy dumb games to win immunity or become the head person of the house. I lived in a house with 5 people and played in my backyard but not to beat the other one and be safe from shit in the house or become the head person. We had a head person, he was called Dad. He didn't need to prove a damn thing to let us know who ruled the house. Or how about this race around the world? In reality, have you ever just sat around, looked at your friend and said, "Hey, let's call up 8 more teams of two or couples and challenge them to a race around the world?" Then you travel to places you don't know about until the last minute at the end of leg of the race only to find you have dick all for information of the area, don't know the language and have to get to another location as fast as you possibly fucking can using what you know of the area. Which is nothing. Yeah, that all seems real to me. And all this time of growing up, getting a job and living a regular life must be the false sense of life we aren't supposed to be living. I'll book a flight or take a cruise somewhere hoping to get shipwrecked or crash and try surviving on an Island with a group of people and every day pray I don't get voted off.

I'll leave it at two items for today as I think I babbled on enough with those topics. I could have gone more but felt I should stop. Should I have? LOL.

Enjoy the day my friends.


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Back again

Wow. It's been a long time since I've blogged. I used to love doing this to blow off some steam or just have some fun with thoughts I come up with on a daily basis. If you used to read my blogs, welcome back and if you are new, welcome. They may not always be entertaining or to your liking but hey, can't please everyone. Some blogs you may strongly disagree with and some you may love, either way if you have comments, I'd love to hear from you. It's a free country. Still. I think.
How are you all doing? I trust you are having a great day and enjoying whatever it is you are doing. Where do I start with today's blog? I've recently discovered I have blood pressure problems and adding it to the list of many things going wrong with me since I hit 35 years of age back in June. Yes, I know, millions have blood pressure issues, this is me right now stating mine and it's new to me so here we go. Along with having a disc problem in my lower back that hit me a week after my birthday, I also have a knee problem that derived from said lower back injury due to putting all my weight on my left leg while I was couch ridden with my back and had to hobble about using crutches or the aide of my wonderful brother to get me around. It was not fun. So now I have the blood pressure going on and recently found out or came to the realization that it is in my family blood line on the men's side which does not make me happy but never the less, a situation I have to deal with as we all have problems throughout our lives, right? My Grampy had it, my father has it and I believe my uncle has it too. Got to love the marvels of the human body and the defects we come with. We're like cars. We start out brand new but as the miles get put on, we start needing new parts or tune ups on a regular basis. Now for anyone with any European ethnic background, be patient, those parts take a while on order.

No one goes through their entire life with perfect health just dies of old age these days. Something gets us all in the end. But if you are someone out there or know someone that has perfect health and is in to their old age, send me their blood sample so I can genetically enhance my DNA with it? That would be great. Thanks. I remember the days when I was a kid wishing I could get just a bit older so I could drive a car, drink, meet girls and be cool. But as the cycle of life gets going, you pass that age and start wondering who the hell sped up the ride and wish for a time machine. Preferably one that returns you to the age you were when you go back in time as well. Wouldn't want to go back and still be this age, wouldn't help much.

So since I last blogged, a lot of crazy shite has occured like the loss of Farrah Fawcett (Loved your posters, thank you), Signs of a new future in the U.S. with a new African American president, Kate and John seperated (Who really cares?), Lindsay Lohan has Anne Hache syndrome, Britney went crazy, shaved her head and let her baby drive her car and so on. So many opportunities and material to work with and I look forward to more in the next while. Keep coming back on a regular basis as I'll keep up with blogs almost daily and hopefully most of it will be a great read for you with perhaps a laugh or two. Maybe it'll piss you off and you'll want to tell me off or dispute which I welcome too. We all have great minds, what better way to feed them and keep them sharp.

Thanks for coming by my friend,